Friday, June 23, 2006

Its not You ... its Me....

Oh my goodness.... I have had SUCH a revelation. It almost seems silly - things that are SO OBVIOUS, that dawn on me! I get so excited when I have "figured it out"... because then I can act upon it... I can change.

"Change. It has the power to uplift, to heal, to stimulate, surprise, open new doors, bring fresh experience and create excitement in life. Certainly it is worth the risk." -- Leo Buscaglia

Absolutely, I totally agree or I would not be here today as I am. I am happier in my life, within MYSELF than I have ever been... I have a gorgeous child. A wonderful man. And a beautiful sisterhood... All my meaningful relationships today are rock solid, more so than I have ever had before in my life.

So as happy as I am within myself, with my life and my love, my relationships - I was left bewildered as to why I continued to allow toxic people impact me....why oh why? Finally after much contemplation, I worked it out - I was seeking to replicate the relationship I once had with my Mum... D'oh!

It is SO obvious to me now! I would seek these love/hate "friendships"... I would counsel them over and over again on the same issues... like a never ending merry-go-round. I would feel sympathy and empathy... which would drain me - turning into anger and frustration. At myself. Why was I doing this? They would criticise me ... or just be plain nasty to me because they felt so crap about themselves. Even criticise me for giving them what I knew to be sound advice. And asides... if you dont like advice given... don’t take it! Why did I put up with this crap? They were not DOING anything to me.... I was ALLOWING. WHY? It was getting to me... and Nath could see it was upsetting me. Ohh..... I wanted off the merry-go-round…

Now I have worked it out, I am off. I feel such a sense of release and a calmness... I am not going to continue to allow toxic people to impact on my happiness. Simple. Even when I love them, as I do my Mum, and other friends I have said goodbye to. I refuse to have negative people in my life. And where I am "forced" to... I will no longer be harmed by their pain and suffering. I can just be compassionate. And self-protecting... their issues are theirs. So there you go peeps - another little epiphany for me. Clarity. Keep it simple.

"I can change. I can live out my imagination instead of my memory. I can tie myself to my limitless potential instead of my limiting past." -- Stephen Covey

And it is going to take continued work... as we know self improvement does. And I intend on doing so for the rest of my life. Yah! I have always embraced change, self analysis and improvement. So I am looking forward to the required changes as I grow into this new revelation.

Want to share any huge "revelations" you've had?

See my post below... this is how I am feeling now... face to the sun. And looking forward to a great weekend.
Peace and Love.


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