Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Introducing *Mikaela's Dad*...

Her biological father.
She has two Dad's.
One who is her biological Dad... and one who is not, but is a Dad in every defining term of the word, aside from blood.

This is Papy.
Mikaela's Dad.
We met in Italy in 2000.
Today he is an Australian citizen.
He lives about 10mins from us.
And we get along as well as separated parents do.
Most days.

For many, many reasons our union was a difficult one... we faced a lot of prejudice. Mainly in Europe.
I remember when Papy arrived in Australia... we would stroll down the road holding hands.
He was so delighted and surprised.... he turned to me and said "Bek... people are smiling at us... they are actually happy for us"!!
I grinned and said "Of course Papy... this is Australia"

THIS IS AUSTRALIA.....
Many of our political and international policies - I do not agree with or support. Nor am I proud of.
But I am very proud of our muliticultural society.

It was difficult too because of our cultural differences.
Things that you think (or hope) wont matter.
Do.

Sometimes it is the very thing that attracts you to a person that tears you apart.
As was the case with us.

Papy walked into the room.
The instant our eyes locked I knew he was the father of my child.
I knew we would have a child together.
I knew.

He was attracted to my independance...
This "Aussie Chick"... she can do anything.. go anywhere.
He found it refreshing and liberating.

We were attracted to the differences in each other...

I had been warned.
People had told me that African culture was very different to mine.
Women are not regarded or treated the same as in our society.
I didnt pay much attention.

I also didnt know much about politics in Africa at the time.
And especially not the situation in DRC.
I really had no idea of what I was getting into.
I was living in Italy. I was an ignorant Aussie. Who met a gorgeous African man.
What more was there to know???

Papy was born of the Minister for Arts for the Mobutu government.
He had a very priviledged upbringing.
When Mobutu was ousted... well his live changed considerably.
And no doubt he as a lot of trama for his experiences.
Of which I can never comprehend.
Ever.

Looking from the outside things are so crystal clear.
So very obvious.
When you are in it.... well, not so clear.

So we tried desperately to keep our little union strong.
To maintain the tiny family we had created.
We couldnt.
We didnt.

I tell Mikaela all the time... I love your Dad because without him, there would be no *you*
I will always love Papy..... he is my brother.
I admire Papy.
I respect him.
And I will always hold him in my heart and wish the very best for him.
He is a good guy.

There are many things we dont discuss often ... the situation of the people or politics in Africa.
We try sometimes... it always ends with us both in tears.

Nath and he get along well.
We all maintain a healthy respect for each other ... and the roles we have in Mikaela's life.
And I can ask for no more.
It is all that matters... Mikaela.

Live your life... with love towards your sisters and brothers.
Bx

6 comments:

Goddess of Leonie said...

oh darling, this is so beautiful.
wow, it explains and shares so much.
thank you for speaking this story...
i feel like i know the energies on a deeper level now, yaknow?
and you totally get them on such an amazing level...
w o w
what a karmic connection this is... for you to meet, bring mikaela into the world, work through some karma, then decide to be without each other... i totally honour this story...
it was really nice to meet your gal AND papy yesterday too.
love you
leonie

b/sistersshoes said...

I have snot running out of my nose, tears flowing and emotionally am in huge admiration of you...bek, MY bek...so proud that I can say that today...you are an amazing human being.

I honor you...I honor the fact that you have honored this beautiful childs bio/father for her. You have openly put her first, as all mature parents should, but unfortunatly don't, and she will become a whole, powerful woman because of your example.

Sweet bek and sweet Mikaela~
a bubble of love to surround you and great big angels to surround the bubble and wishes and dreams coming true around them.~

This is the hope I have for you today and forever.

I love you bek...I really do!

Miss you love, being busy with my Mom these past two days have felt like a bloggie year ;-)

xxx d

Carolyne Hallum said...

what a great tribute to your daughter bek, i feel i know you a little more.....thankyou for sharing. hugs.

Bohemian Girl said...

i love the name Papy.

this picture brought tears to my eyes. thank you for sharing your story with us. it is beautiful and inspiring.

Papy has a very kind face.

you are so brave and wise.

love to you,
deni

Lee said...

Congratulations Papy on becoming an Australian citizen.

Much love to my lovely family...

b/sistersshoes said...

where are you???

I'm going right to email

hugs d