Monday, July 31, 2006

I am home...

What an amazing experience the past few days has been! I cant even begin to explain how I have been spiritually touched.

Brett was the first young and "live life to the fullest possible" kinda person I know to die. There was alot of warmth at the funeral.... 250-300 peeps. Huge wake. He is a very loved and a warm person. I was unaware that he was also a freemason. During the ceremony attending freemasons were asked to stand. And I felt an amazing and powerful energy as they did so.

When his Mum {Sandy} died almost three years ago... he and his bro {Wade} basically said to themselves "fuck buying a house".... "lets live our lives to the fullest" "lets get a boat" !! They bought a "little" $100k "boat". They believe that money is nothing compared to living. So right. And thankfully Wade has LOTS of good memories fishing with his best mate/brother.

This may sound strange... Brett's death has given my family a gift... and I am very proud of the spiritual warmth they all showed and expressed over this last week. All of us connected.

I also connected with some amazing people... his mates. Plus two incredibly soulful and spiritual women. Sharon and Lydia. Just amazing.

Wade and Bec are very beautiful souls and my thoughts are with them constantly now.

On Saturday night my sister Leanne and I both saw shooting stars. Lee first and me about half an hour later. We were speaking of Brett and appreciating having had him in our lives. For the gift he was and is in our lives. The aborigines believe that when a person passes, the next shooting star you see is the persons spirit or soul returning to the earth. Blessed are we for the lessons Brett is teaching us.

Before the funeral service I was trying to be brave... I felt I had no "right" to be feeling deeply affected by Brett's death. Not like Wade (or Dad)... where the impact for them would be so MUCH more than for me. In reality I have found that Brett's death has impacted me profoundly. He was an integral part of my family. He was like spiritual glue, holding so many people together and connected. And now another person is missing from the equation. Another gap or void is in our lives. But the negative has come with postives... and I suppose I can feel the blessings from Brett as I am not as engrossed in grief as I would be if I saw him or connected with him daily, or often... but still grieving. And it comes in waves. Sometimes I feel okay and other times really S.A.D. Mostly right now I am just really tired. It is an intersting, painful and still blessed journey.

LOVE - the word art in the photo above - I bought that in a market in Queensland. A constant reminder of the most important thing... and of Brett too.

I love you Brett ~I hold you in my heart~
Peace and Love

Edit: To those of you who have been sending me beautiful heartfelt emails... thanks so much.
EDIT AGAIN.... I REALLY think I have fixed the issue on not being able to leave comments now (2 Aug)... DOH!!


1 comment:

Bek said...

Leonie {our connection on this issue is astounding},
Kyle and Jodes... thank you all so much for your wonderful SMS and emails over this difficult time.
Your thoughts and love have meant a great deal to me.
Sorry I buggered up the comments function for a while there.
Peace and Love to you all.